Chapter 1 Part 2

PVO LAURA

Miguel moves inside me fiercely, and the little moisture in my vagina makes the friction between our bodies hurt me.

Although I have begged him to be less rough, all I get is a slap in the face or his mocking laughter for being so stupid that I don't understand that this is how sex feels.

Not even the lubricated condom I bought for him can make his penis slide in without causing me pain. My libido disappeared a long time ago, and I have to pretend that I am enjoying sex, making loud moans that turn him on.

Finally, the torture ends when he ejaculates and pulls out of my body, and as always, he quickly takes off the condom so he can get dressed and leave to look for drugs.

I stay lying down for a while longer and stimulate my clitoris with my fingers in a failed attempt to reach an orgasm, but I become frustrated when I can't.

Angry at the disgusting life I've been given, I get up and put on one of the vulgar dresses Miguel has bought for me.

When I look at myself in the mirror, the image reflected back at me looks more like that of a prostitute than a respectable woman, and I want to take the dress off, but the door opens and Miguel appears, accompanied by one of the bosses who sells him drugs.

“Look who came to visit you, sweetheart!” my lover says, in a tone that I dislike because of what it implies.

“How long is it supposed to last?” I ask resignedly, and the worst part is that instead of making him feel bad, it makes him smile.

“Twenty minutes, beautiful,” the other man replies.

“Well, now that the time has been agreed upon, I'll leave you two to make the most of it… See you later, sweetheart!”

Miguel leaves the room, and the dark-haired man with an athletic build quickly undresses. I look at him, trying to become aroused by his huge muscles, but as always happens with the clients Miguel brings me, my body doesn't respond enough for me to enjoy even a little of what these men have to offer.

“Come here, beautiful!” He sits down on the bed with his penis pointing toward the ceiling. “Give me a blowjob.”

“Oh God, why doesn’t he just penetrate me and get it over with?… I hate giving blowjobs because they’re so disgusting. Unfortunately, I can’t refuse if I don’t want Miguel to take it out on me by whipping me with his belt, so I kneel in front of the man and put his penis in my mouth, sucking it hard.”

“Wait!” He pulled my hair to force me to look at him. “You always give blowjobs at lightning speed, and I come really quickly, but today I want you to take your time because I need to de-stress.”

“Without any regard for me, he forced me to take his penis all the way down my throat, and I gagged horribly from the lack of air. The bastard set the pace, and he went so slowly that tears came to my eyes. If the torture of being with Miguel had been long, this was eternal, and it didn't end with a blowjob, but with the most painful anal sex I have ever experienced in my life. The bastard hurt me so badly that he left me bleeding. Miguel came in shortly after the man left, and the only thing he cared about was finding out whether he had paid in full. I sat up as best I could and begged him to take me to the doctor, but he downplayed what had happened and left without giving me a single cent.”

“I tried to ignore the pain by going to sleep; however, the stabbing pains wouldn't let me, and, embarrassed, I called Luisa, my best friend from high school, to come with me to the hospital and, while she was at it, lend me the money to pay for it.”

“The doctor's diagnosis was a tear, and he stitched it up right there. Given my limited financial means, I couldn't afford to stay in the hospital for a few days, so I left slowly, walking in a position that made it obvious what had happened to me.

Luisa took me to my apartment, and since I had nothing in the refrigerator, she had to order some food.”

“We had been sitting in complete silence for a few minutes, and I hoped to keep it that way until she left, but Luisa never misses an opportunity to remind me how pathetic I am.”

“How long are you going to keep this up, Laura?” Her tone wasn't angry, but she was clearly disappointed. “That man you live with has ruined your life. Your romantic idea of staying with the man you gave yourself to for the first time is absurd.”

“Miguel is the love of my life,” I repeated the mantra that helps me endure this life.

“You were seventeen when you met him, and like every stupid girl, the only thing you cared about was how attractive he was. You didn't take the time to find out whether he was right for you. You immediately opened your legs for him, and by doing so, you gave him the power to destroy you.”

“I didn't give him the power to do anything. Miguel is my partner, and…”

“He doesn’t see you that way!” She raised her voice and slammed her hand on the table. “To that bastard, you’re nothing more than a bargaining chip. He’s always offering you to his drug dealers, and you’re such an idiot that you agree to sleep with all of them just so he won’t get angry… Don’t you ever think that one day they could give you a disease?”

“They always use condoms. Even Miguel has done so ever since the first time we were together.”

“What a stupid excuse.” I see her pick up her bag, and I get up as she approaches the door.

“Don’t go, please!” I hurry after her and feel one of the stitches come loose from the movement.

“I can’t do this anymore, Laura. You’re twenty-five, but you look thirty. The drugs you take have poisoned your body, and I’m afraid of the day you tell me you’re pregnant or that you’ve contracted a sexually transmitted disease.”

“Are you afraid that I’ll give it to you?”

“No. What I’m afraid of is watching you slowly die or seeing you bring a sick baby into the world.”

“I told you they use condoms. I would never let them do it any other way.”

“It doesn't matter what you allow or don't allow. You've degraded yourself to the point of becoming a prostitute, and believe me, I'm not criticizing that profession. Many women are forced into it or do it out of necessity, but you don't even get paid because you sleep with men so your man can keep getting high.” She gives me a melancholy look. “You had a great future. You wanted to be a painter, but when you saw the handsome Miguel, all your intelligence was buried… I remember you telling me that you liked his body and his good looks, and it's true, he’s blond, blue-eyed, fair-skinned, slim, and tall. But besides that, didn't you realize that he's a freeloader, a sexist, a thief, and a woman-beater?”

“He… he’s good,” I reply in a trembling voice. “And he loves me.”

“He loves you so much that he lets other men fuck you as many times as they want… Laura, honestly, I think you've slept with his drug suppliers more times than you have with him. But if you've grown attached to this life, that's your problem. As far as I'm concerned, this is the last time I help you. If they hurt you again, ask your beloved to patch you up.”

“Luisa left without caring about my tears, and I don't blame her. Lately, I've been finding it harder to feel pleasure, and it's because I'm already tired of being nothing more than an object for men.”

“Miguel is well-endowed, and his suppliers aren't bad either, but they only think about their own pleasure, and they always leave me frustrated. Sex has never been wonderful, but it wasn't bad. Now I beg them to finish quickly.”

“Why did I ever have to notice Miguel?” I slowly sit down on the floor and cry even harder.

The door opens, and Miguel comes in with a look of terror on his face that makes me get up quickly.

“What’s wrong?” I try to touch him, but he shoves me away and pulls a gun from the pocket of his pants.

“I have to leave, or they’re going to kill me, but before I go, I came to ask you to help me.” He grabs me by the arm and leads me to sit on the bed. “A few days ago, I started looking for old men who are still single but have millions in their bank accounts, and I found a pretty wealthy idiot. If you seduce him and marry him, I’ll pay off my debts, and we’ll live like kings.”

“But if I marry him, I won't be able to be with you anymore.”

“You will. The old man just can't know that you're sleeping with me too.”

Miguel began instructing me on how to approach the old man, but the more he told me, the less I wanted to go through with the plan.

“My dream as a woman was to marry Miguel in a beautiful church. I imagined myself dressed in white, walking down the aisle toward the altar where he would be waiting for me, but now I would have to do that with an old man twice my age, and worst of all, he isn't very handsome.”

“I've had sex with several of Miguel's suppliers, and luckily for me, they're attractive, but the old man in the photo is very heavyset, with extremely noticeable dark circles under his eyes, and gray hair. I think the only redeeming feature is his gray eyes.”

“In the days that followed that conversation, Miguel didn't mention the old man, and I thought it was only fear that had made him come up with such crazy ideas. But the following week, he brought a man who looked very much like the man he wanted me to seduce, and I was surprised when he offered me a lot of money to give his brother a little happiness while he was still healthy. He emphasized something about an illness, but I stopped listening after Miguel accepted the deal on my behalf, and I simply nodded to reaffirm my boyfriend's decision.”

“Tomorrow I would meet the man who would become my husband, and all I hoped for was to endure being with someone who didn't arouse the slightest sexual desire in me. But I loved Miguel so much that I was willing to do whatever was necessary to make him happy.”