Chapter 1

My name is Mariana Rivas. I am an eighteen-year-old girl, tall, blonde, and with an appearance that men describe as “beautiful”; however, I have never felt that way about myself.

For me, a person's attractiveness is not based on their appearance, but on their good nature. That is why I consider Don Filomeno my best friend in my entire short life. He is a fifty-two-year-old man who works as a janitor at my school. He is almost as tall as I am, perhaps a few centimeters shorter, which makes him look slightly shorter than me. He has a potbelly. His face is round, and he has a few wrinkles. His smile is sweet despite the fact that he has a few crooked teeth. He has dark hair and is very hairy. His hair is already streaked with silver strands that shimmer in the sunlight.

Unfortunately, my classmates make fun of him and shout that he is a horrible monster, but to me, he is a gentle and very affectionate man.

We met when I started high school. We liked each other from the very beginning, although we did not actually speak until three months later.

I have always felt out of place in my classmates' conversations. Their taste for partying bores me, and on one occasion, while I was escaping from an absurd conversation with them, I came across Don Filomeno.

I don't know why, but I decided to talk to him, and I was amazed by his patience as he listened to me and by the mature answers he gave me. He truly is a wise man. His age has given him a great deal of experience, which fascinates me, and there isn't a day when I don't seek him out to continue listening to the wonderful things that come out of his mouth. Sadly, a month ago our relationship began to change. (It was almost when I started dating a popular boy named Erik.)

That day, I arrived excited to tell him that I finally had a boyfriend, but the more I talked, the sadder Don Filomeno's face became. And although he congratulated me, we have not spoken again since that day. I see him from a distance, and my distractions annoy my boyfriend. He says that it seems as though I don't care about him, and sometimes I feel that he is right. I don't know if I love him or if I am only with him because I did not want to be left behind while my classmates had been getting boyfriends since they were twelve.

The days went by, and the loneliness caused by Don Filomeno's isolation began to hurt me more. And, as if that weren't enough, one afternoon, while I was determined to give myself to my boyfriend to prove my love for him, I overheard something that made me furious.

—So, Erik, are you going to sleep with Mariana?

—Of course, bro!... That ass is going to be mine.

—But then you're going to let her go so we can have our turn too, right?

—You know I always give you my trophies. Exotic Mariana is going to give me everything, and when she's no longer worth anything, you can have your turn with her.

Everyone laughed at his words. I, for my part, was furious. That idiot only wanted to be the first and brag about it, but he was going to be left empty-handed.

Determined, I walked in, and they immediately fell silent.

—I’ve thought it over, and I don’t want to be with some idiot with a small dick, so we’re through.

I quickly left the school and went home. When I arrived, I slammed the door, and my mother came downstairs to see what was wrong.

—I was about to make the biggest mistake of my life —was all I said.

—What mistake are you talking about, Mariana?

—I was going to sleep with an idiot, but in the end I realized he only wanted to use me.

—Oh, honey! Come here! —She held out her hand, and I took it. Then we went and sat down in an armchair.—Darling, never give yourself to just anyone. You never forget your first time, and it’s very important that you choose someone you not only find physically attractive, but also admire and respect. Maybe he won’t be the person you marry, but if you give your virginity to someone who deserves it, you’ll have the most beautiful memory of your life.

While my mother was talking, I was surprised to find myself thinking about Don Filomeno’s face. And what confused me most was that I imagined the two of us naked, making love. That image not only unsettled me, but it aroused me like never before, and I had to squeeze my legs together to contain myself.

—Mom… what if the person wasn’t very attractive?

—Well, the first thing you should ask yourself is whether that bothers you. If his appearance isn’t good, but you love him, then it’s the right thing to do.

—The right thing to do! —I repeated, unable to erase Don Filomeno’s face from my mind.

—Well, honey, you’d better go get some rest. You shouldn’t put pressure on yourself. The right man will come along, so don’t worry.

Without saying anything else, I got up and locked myself in my room. I tried to sleep, but every time I closed my eyes, the image of Don Filomeno and me making love desperately appeared. I wanted to touch myself because the throbbing sensations were so intense that I couldn’t resist, but I wanted the man who would choose me to make me discover all those pleasures, and, biting into my pillow, I fell asleep a few hours later.

Days went by, and I couldn’t stop recalling those erotic images of a man who was far too old for me. Every time I saw him, I would run away and hide, but even that couldn’t get him out of my mind.

One Friday, my mother told me that she would be traveling to Indonesia for work and that I would be alone all weekend. She said she would try to call me, but she couldn’t promise that she would be able to, since it was difficult to do so from there. I told her not to worry because I was old enough to take care of myself.

Grudgingly, she left for her trip, and I headed to school.

When it was time to leave, I didn’t want to go home, so I started walking around campus. But my feet took me to a place I had not expected to visit, and although my conscience told me that I should leave, when I found myself standing in front of the old door of a little cottage, far from the buildings and hidden among the trees, I couldn’t help wishing he were there.

With my trembling hand, I knocked on the door. At first, I heard nothing and thought perhaps he wasn’t there, but just as I was about to turn around, the door opened, and out came the man who had not left my mind for days. Seeing him flooded my body with sensations and desires I had thought impossible to feel, and unable to control myself, I threw myself into his arms, crying desperately.

—What’s wrong, Mariana? —I couldn’t answer him. —My sweet princess! Don’t be frightened. Tell me what’s wrong!

—Please… take me inside.

He obeyed, led me into his little cottage, and closed the door.

I had visited him there before. It was so small that it always felt pleasantly warm inside, and the lack of windows turned the cottage into a comfortably warm space, while the trees surrounding it kept enough humidity to make the temperature pleasant.

Filomeno sat me on his lap as he always did. Before, this gesture had never made me uneasy, but since my lustful thoughts began, I couldn’t help noticing the bulge beneath my thighs. It was the first time I felt that hard as a rock, and I wondered if he had been thinking about me in the same way.

His hands caressed my back, and his hoarse voice in my ear began to arouse me strangely. I moved away a little to look at him properly. He truly was a very mature and unattractive man, but there was something in his gaze that I liked very much. His eyes reflected the weariness of the years, but their gray color was beautiful, and their brightness dazzled me.

My hands traveled over his weathered face, and several times my fingers traced his wrinkles, but I felt no disgust, nor anything because of his appearance. I continued exploring his enormous nose and dry lips. With one finger, I opened his mouth and touched his teeth. When his tongue brushed against my skin, I could no longer control myself and kissed him so deeply that our tongues immediately became entwined.

I had never kissed my boyfriend that way. With Erik, our lips barely touched, but with Filomeno, my mouth devoured his desperately. The battle of our tongues was long, and I even felt his saliva sliding down my throat. The smacking sounds were so loud that they were the only thing that could be heard throughout the place. My hands continued exploring his face, and at times I held his nape so he couldn’t break this exciting kiss. But, as always happens, we eventually ran out of air and slowly pulled apart.

We were both breathing heavily, and suddenly Filomeno seemed to come to his senses because he tried to get up, but I clung more tightly to his legs, and his penis almost pressed against my buttocks.

—This isn’t right, Mariana… you’re so young, and I’m so old and ugly that I don’t deserve to have tasted the sweetness of your lips —his voice trembled, and the sadness in his eyes hurt me.

—Don’t say that, Don Filomeno —I replied, continuing to caress his face—. There is no one in the world who deserves my kisses more than you.

—What do you mean? —His body trembled, but his expression changed, filling with hope.

—I mean that I’ve come to ask you to give me the most important moment a woman can have.

—And that would be…? —His thick, rough hands clasped my waist, and our faces moved closer.

—I want you to make love to me —I finally told him, and then I kissed him.

The kiss began tenderly, but as our tongues entwined, it turned into one filled with passion. Don Filomeno opened his mouth so wide that it seemed as though he wanted to devour me, and several times he bit my lips. His hands caressed my belly. Then they moved up to my breasts and squeezed them firmly. His touch was desperate, and at times his grip hurt me, but it excited me at the same time, and I let him continue.

The kiss lasted even longer than the first one, and although we were running out of air, we decided to take only a small breath, but we never finished it. Not until one of his hands slipped beneath my blouse and touched the skin at the beginning of my breasts. Feeling his touch made me gasp. That brought him back to his senses, and he broke off our contact. As I tried to catch his mouth, I leaned against his chest.

—My God, Mariana! This really isn’t right… Besides, how is it possible that such a beautiful young woman would kiss me as if I were her boyfriend?... Me? A man who could almost be your father.

—Why couldn’t it be possible? —I held his face between my hands and made him look at me. —You know I’ve always admired you, and I’ve been doing so for three years. That’s why I want you to be the one who turns me into a woman.

—Are you a virgin? —His eyes opened so wide that I almost laughed when I confirmed it with a nod. —By all the Gods! Such a beautiful girl has never been touched? I can’t believe it!

—Then believe it, Don Filomeno. No one has had the pleasure of touching my breasts the way you just did.

I smiled at him, and he smiled back. That gesture gave me confidence, and I took his hand and placed it on my breast. Without letting go, I guided it as I made him caress me. Filomeno gasped, and I felt his erection grow much harder. Happy, I brought my mouth closer to kiss him again, but he suddenly stood up and pressed himself against the wall.

—No… this can’t happen. You’re a child compared to me, and it would be abhorrent to take advantage of your innocence.

I’m not a child. I’ve been eighteen for five months, and a few days ago I almost gave myself to an idiot who doesn’t deserve such a precious gift. So I’ve come to find the man who not only deserves my body, but already has my affection in his hands, and that affection is so strong that now I know I will never want another man to take away the most important moment of my life.

—You see, Mariana! You just said that you care for me, but virginity shouldn’t be given when that feeling is less than love.

—I love you! —I said confidently.

—It isn’t love.

—I can prove to you how much I love you —I stood up, but he signaled for me not to come any closer.

—I do love you, and that’s why I don’t want you to regret giving me such a precious treasure… I… I’m so horrible that I know you’ll want to vomit as soon as you see me naked.

—Then let me see you, and if I don’t like what I see, I swear I’ll never ask you for anything like this again. But if it’s the opposite, you must swear that we’ll see this through to the end.

For a moment he hesitated, but then he nodded and began taking off his clothes.

The first thing I saw was his torso. His skin was lighter than his face, and the sagging of his chest was noticeable (nothing like Erik’s firmness, which I had only seen a few times when he was shirtless). His belly protruded, and his skin looked rough, but the abundance of body hair covered much of it. He looked at me, searching for some sign of disgust, and when he found none, he continued. He lowered his pants and was left in his boxers. His legs were shorter than his torso and looked rather chubby. The only garment he had left concealed his penis, and he took a long time to pull it down. When he finally did, I opened my eyes in surprise and fear because it was incredibly thick. It wasn’t particularly long, but I thought its size was good; however, what it lacked in length, it made up for in thickness. It was so thick that I doubted my vagina would be able to take it. His foreskin was much wider than the shaft, and the pre-ejaculate fluid was already visible. It was also covered in prominent veins. Honestly, it wasn’t the most attractive penis I could have imagined. It even looked monstrous, but despite my fear, my decision had not changed.

I must have remained thoughtful for quite a while because he tried to pick up his boxers from the floor, but I was faster. Before he could take them, I knelt in front of his legs and, without stopping to think about what I was doing, took his penis in my hand and put it in my mouth, just as I had seen the women in the porn videos my mother had hidden in her room do.

Filomeno almost cried out in surprise, but the moment my tongue caressed his penis, he had to grab the wall to keep from falling over from the sensation.

The taste of his penis wasn’t the best, but if I didn’t do this, I was sure he wouldn’t want to make love to me if he noticed my discomfort. So, making a great effort not to show my doubts, I began sucking his penis. I had never done this before, and I don’t know if I did it well, but judging by his moans, I suppose he liked it. After a while, the taste stopped bothering me, and I took it deeper into my mouth. My hands squeezed his buttocks so that it would go in farther, but because of how thick it was difficult to take it any deeper. The sounds of suction I made were loud, and when I saw that hearing them made him harder, I made them freely. The excitement his moans were causing in me made me extremely wet. I lost track of time, and I suppose he had been doing this for quite a while because he fell into a nearby chair and was breathing heavily. I wanted to ask him if I was doing it well, but instead of doing so, I forced him to spread his legs wider so me could position myself more comfortably. Being closer, I could see his enormous testicles, and, driven by curiosity, I stopped sucking his penis and began sucking his large balls. Filomeno moaned louder, and his hands pulled my hair in an attempt to make me stop. However, my mouth engulfed one of his testicles, and the sensation must have been overwhelming for him because he lifted his hips and spread his legs wider, almost slipping from the chair. I caught him in my arms, but I didn't stop.

—Please... Mariana... if you keep doing that, I won't be able to take it anymore —it was a plea that almost made me give in, but the throbbing sensations in my vagina were delicious, and his moans were what aroused me, so I continued.

I kissed and sucked his penis all the way to his testicles. One of my hands kept him from closing his legs while the other caressed his shaft or his balls whenever my mouth moved from one to the other. His moans became increasingly constant, and the movement of his pelvis became desperate. His hands on my head set a faster rhythm, and minutes later I felt something warm and viscous hitting the back of my throat. I tried to pull away, but the pressure of his hands wouldn't let me, so I swallowed everything I could as the thick liquid came out. It felt strange, but I told me that this was part of the man I desired as my lover and that it wasn't fair to reject something that belonged to him, so I continued drinking from him until the last drop, and when there was nothing left to swallow, I kept sucking in search of any remaining traces. His hands never stopped caressing my hair, and that attention was so exquisite that, as a reward, I bent down to kiss the back of his testicles and tried to suck them again. However, Filomeno pushed me away. His strength was such that I fell to the floor, and when he saw what he had done, he threw himself down to embrace me as well.

—I'm sorry, my love, but what you were about to do could have killed me.

—Why would it have killed you? —I asked as I returned his embrace.

—My innocent Mariana. Do you know that what you just did was the first time I've ever experienced it?... No woman has ever given me oral sex, much less swallowed my semen with as much pleasure as you did —he held my face so that I would look at him. —I almost had a heart attack from all the sensations that gesture caused in me.

—Did you like it so much that the excitement made your heart race? —I asked, placing a hand on his chest.

—Yes... I liked everything you did —He opened my mouth and ran his fingers around it.—Did you swallow all that disgusting stuff?

—Yes —I smiled. —You know, it actually tastes delicious, so I'll warn you: I'm going to want my daily dose starting today —I told him with a smile.

I knew that saying it was delicious was a lie, but the sparkle in his eyes and the smile on his cracked lips were so sweet that, if swallowing his semen every day made him happy, I would do it without hesitation.

Suddenly, the smile disappeared from his face, and he let me go to return to the chair. His penis was a little less swollen, but its thickness was still impossible to ignore, and since his legs were spread apart, my eyes couldn’t stop looking at that bulge that would soon make me a woman.

—This is wrong… I’m older than your father, and even though you’ve shown me that I don’t disgust you, it wouldn’t be right for an ugly old man to take your virginity when you have so many handsome young men to choose from.

—But I don’t want just anyone to take my virginity —I stood up and knelt between his legs again. —I want to give it to you because I want you as a man… My man! —I emphasized my words, taking his hands in mine.

It was a bizarre sight. I was wearing my university uniform, and in front of me was a much older man, completely naked. Yet, despite not being attractive, he was the only man I wanted inside my body.

His resistance was admirable, but I was determined to fulfill my desire, so I kissed him again, but I didn’t linger on his mouth. Instead, I began scattering kisses all over his body. Sweat was already running down his neck, and I licked it without hesitation. I ran my tongue over his chest and spent quite a while licking his hairy belly. Several hairs stuck to my tongue, but I made no attempt to remove them. Then I lowered my mouth to his penis and, as I had before, put it in my mouth and sucked it with much more pleasure than the first time. With my hands, I caressed his testicles, and this made him harden again, although this time it seemed that his thickness had increased threefold. But before fear of such a monster could stop me, I stood up and took off my clothes.

Once I was completely naked, I looked at him, and what I saw both reassured and delighted me. Filomeno had his eyes and mouth wide open. His eyes shone intensely as they traveled over my body with fascination.

Slowly, he stood up. I knew he wanted to embrace me, but if I allowed him to, surely something would make him stop, so I walked to his little bed and lay on my back. I was nervous and a little embarrassed because it was the first time he had seen me completely naked. I was aware that my body was attractive, but that didn’t change the fact that I felt extremely vulnerable. To calm myself, I took several deep breaths until I found the courage to raise my legs, then opened them completely, letting him see me intimately.

His heavy breathing told me that what he saw aroused him, and if that hadn’t been enough proof, his eagerness to get on top of me and his desperate kiss confirmed what I had thought.

His mouth left my lips and, without diminishing his desire, he licked my neck and shoulders. When he reached my breasts, he clung to them like a newborn baby searching for nourishment. That made me moan loudly for the first time. His teeth grazed my nipples and my toes curled when he bit them, and they hardened so much that it hurt. Yet those sensations made my clitoris throb. Filomeno didn’t linger there. I suppose he was too excited to prolong his exploration, so his mouth traveled down my belly, and with his hands he opened my legs wider before frantically searching for my clitoris. When he found it, he sucked it, making me cry out with pleasure. My first orgasm soon followed, and when I let it happen, I’m sure I released more than just fluids; I even felt as though I had urinated, but I couldn’t care because immediately afterward I felt the tip of Filomeno’s penis at the entrance to my vagina.

When I looked at him, I saw the question in his eyes: should he continue or stop? Unable to speak because of the excitement, I nodded and lifted my hips to give him better access to my intimacy. I was sure it would hurt when he broke my hymen, but I cared for him so deeply that the last thing I wanted was to see guilt on his face. So I steeled myself and wrapped my arms around his body, trying to find the courage to endure whatever came next, just as I had prayed, His penis was so thick that, even though I was embarrassingly aroused by desire, he could not get it in. Filomeno tried several times, but nothing seemed to work. What little progress he made did not even reach halfway, and the pain I was experiencing was terrible. Still, I refused to stop smiling. Several minutes passed as he tried, but sadness appeared on his face when he could not succeed, and I knew he had given up when he began to stand.

His giving up terrified me. We had already come so far, and I could not bear to leave what we had begun unfinished. Gathering all my strength, I held him close and guided him, determined to continue despite the pain. When he finally managed to move forward, I endured the painful moment and refused to stop. With a final effort, the barrier that had protected my virginity finally gave way.

I wanted to cry out from the intense pain, but I held myself back and gave Filomeno my best smile. He looked at me in surprise, but when he saw me smile, he gained enough confidence to continue, moving with an eagerness that sent waves of pain through me. This was nothing like what I had imagined. It hurt terribly, but part of me was also responding to what was happening. Tears filled my eyes, although I would not let them fall. I could think of nothing but the pain, so I embraced him and hid my face against his shoulder.

For a moment, I almost regretted giving myself to Filomeno, but when I heard him moan with pleasure, that thought made me feel like the worst person in the world. I wanted to make him happy, even if it meant putting my own doubts aside. I began moving with him, inexperienced but determined, and little by little his pleasure became more obvious.

Incredibly, the pain gradually began to change into pleasure. Our bodies moved together, and the closeness between us became more intense. My body responded to his touch, and the tenderness with which I held him made the experience feel less frightening.

After a few minutes, the pain had eased enough for me to look at Filomeno's face. He was watching me with adoration. No one had ever looked at me that way, as if I were something of immeasurable value. His smile, revealing his uneven teeth, made me smile too, and we kissed again.

We remained absorbed in the dance of our bodies for a long time. When his movements became more intense, some of the discomfort returned, but I was able to endure it better. Despite the lingering pain, I continued kissing him passionately while my hands caressed his back and stomach with immense affection. Then his body tensed, and I realized that the moment had become overwhelming for both of us. I held him tightly, frightened by the intensity of the sensations, and remained in his arms as the moment finally passed. I could feel the pleasure building inside me until I finally released it with a cry. My own release was not as intense as Filomeno’s, but despite that, some of it spilled between us and stained his bed.

Filomeno collapsed against my chest, and his erratic breathing gently brushed against my sensitive skin. I was not in much better condition, yet the tenderness this man showed me made me worry more about him than about myself. So, despite the trembling in my body, I caressed his back and head, trying to calm him.

He tried to pull away from me, but something told me that the pain would be unbearable if he moved too quickly. I held him close with my legs, and my embrace was so strong that he stopped trying to move away. Instead, he settled against my chest and began kissing me there. His kisses were tender, and his rough hands caressed me with such delicacy that little by little I felt my body relax until I drifted into a drowsy state.

Before falling completely asleep, I felt a pleasant warmth and smiled with happiness, realizing that I was now Filomeno’s woman in every sense in which a woman can belong to a man.