Chapter 4

Monday morning.

I was on Filomeno's chest, and the light was coming through the crack in the door and I could swear it was after seven, but if it was, he was behind on his college homework. I immediately moved him to wake him up.

–What's wrong, love?

–Filomeno, you're already late for work.

–What? –he screamed and looked towards the door. –God, it's true... if the bathrooms aren't cleaned before noon, they'll surely kick me out –he said as he got up to get dressed quickly.

When he was ready, he ran to my side to give me a kiss on the lips, placed another on my belly and then he left at full speed.

I lay in bed for a few more minutes. Now that I was alone, I remembered that I no longer had my mother's support and that the tuition only covered fifteen days, but after that time, I would not be able to pay it anymore. There was also the problem that I would be living with Filomeno and although we have been careful not to let anyone know about our relationship, there will be a time when someone sees me and there will be a fuss and he would lose his job and with our baby coming, it would be terrible, but no matter how much I thought about it, there was no favorable solution to our problem, although there was something that could work.

Swallowing my pride, I dialed the number of the only person who could help me, and two hours later she was standing in front of the door of my new home.

–It's a pigsty –my mother said disdainfully. –Is this what you really want?

–All I want is for you to help me so that Filomeno doesn't lose his job. We need him to support our baby.

–So, you are pregnant– she said in a trembling voice. –I was praying you weren't.

–I don't care about your pleas, what really mattered was that the father of my baby accepted him and since he has, I trust that together we will bring up this innocent little one who you would condemn to misery if you refuse to help me.

–And how do you want me to help you?

–I want to marry Filomeno to make sure he doesn't get fired for dating a college student, but being much older than me, they'll think he forced me to be with him.

–And they wouldn’t be wrong.

–He didn't force me, and you know it... you said that if I was going to lose my virginity, I should do it with someone I admired and deserved that gift... Well, for your information, Filomeno is the one I chose, and I feel comfortable being intimate with him, that's why I'm the one who always seeks him out, not the other way around.

–So, you love old men –her mocking tone hurt me, –what pleasure can you feel with an old man?

–That's none of your business... I asked you to come so you can inform the director that I'm going to marry Filomeno in two weeks and that it's with your total and absolute consent and that you've also had months to know and accept our relationship.

–And you think he's going to believe me?... For God's sake Mariana, don't be naive, no one in life will believe that a mother would be happy that her eighteen-year-old daughter marry a fifty-year-old man.

–They wouldn't believe it if I told it, but you'll be the one to say it and if you do it right, no one will be able to refute it.

–Okay, I just have to lie and then what?

–Then you can forget that you have a daughter.

That seemed to affect her, but she quickly recovered.

–Okay… I’m going to talk to the director right now.

Without saying anything else, she left the house. I wanted to go with her to make sure she didn't make up things that would affect Filomeno. There was no guarantee that she would say she accepted our relationship, but if I went, it would look suspicious and then he would lose his job.

While I was waiting for my mother to return, I realized that I had not asked Filomeno if he wanted to marry me. To be honest, I don't want to marry him, but if I don't, our baby will be an outcast from society, and I'd rather sacrifice my freedom than see him suffer rejection from people. Another question that was on my mind was by what law we would get married if he agreed. I know that he didn't marry his first wife in church because she wasn't Catholic, but we both have the same religion and on one occasion he told me that if he were to marry again, this time he wanted it to be in church. I could say no of course, but I prefer that Filomeno be the one to decide and if his wish is to get married in a church, with all the pain in my heart, I would have to do it.

My mother returned forty minutes later. Her face showed no indication that would help me to know the outcome of her conversation with the principal, but as she sat down in the dining room chair, I knew she was going to give me a lecture.

–The poor man almost had a heart attack when I told him who your future husband is… at first, he refused to believe it, but I was such a good actress that he ended up believing the whole story of your love.

–What did you tell him?

–I told him that I had met him first when I came to enroll you and that we got along right away. At your eighteenth birthday party, I invited him, and when your treated outside of the university, your fell in love and both talked to me to express your feelings, but since he was too old for you, I gave you’re a few months to get to know each other, and if your discovered that your weren't compatible, then you’re would separate forever, but since your affection is genuine and you are at the age of hormonal imbalance, your took things to another level, and from that intense relationship, you got pregnant and without hesitation your boyfriend asked for your hand in marriage and I accepted because in my heart I know that you love each other.

–And he believed that story?

–Well, I doubt he believed me, but when he saw my determination to accept this relationship, he had no choice but to congratulate me and asked to be the best man… You see how beneficial it is to have an excellent social position… with your old janitor, you will become an outcast.

–Not for these people… there is no student, teacher or school authority who does not know that you are a millionaire businesswoman, and you achieved this thanks to the surname that my father left you before abandoning you.

–Then you must agree that a great name is worth more than dignity. Your old man may be a good man, but his poverty will make you unhappy in the long run.

–You have millions, and you are unhappy, that means that we will both have the same destiny, although in different ways.

–Maybe you're right, although at least I console myself with money, but how do you plan to console yourself?... in a few years that old man will be more of a burden than a lover.

I wanted to continue contradicting her, but I couldn't find anything to disprove her because I knew she was right.

–I figured you couldn't contradict me –she stood up and headed for the exit– let me know the date of the wedding. Whether you like it or not, I have to invite the director to ensure cordial treatment for your old man. And as a wedding gift, I will continue paying your tuition. The director promised to accommodate your schedule so that you can handle your pregnancy as calmly as possible and he made the same promise with your janitor's work time –she laughed– he said that this old man is an excellent human being and that he works harder than a young man and that he deserved to enjoy his few years of life at the side of his beautiful wife.

–At least there is someone who values the efforts of a kind and hard-working man.

–I will appreciate it if it manages to give you a decent life.

With that she left.

On the one hand, I was grateful for her offer to pay for my studies. It was essential that I get a good job to support my baby, because Filomeno's salary would barely cover the two of us. However, I was annoyed by the way she humiliated me by making fun of his age and the worst thing was that many people would do the same when our union became official.

Tired of the day's events, I decided not to go to class and went to bed to get some sleep, but that little sleep turned into long hours and when I woke up it was already six in the evening. Filomeno returned home with some pots of food.

–Today there was a lot of food left over from what they prepared for the students. The cook gave it to me because I told her that my wife was already living with me and that she was going to give me the joy of being a father –he smiled and looked at me – she went crazy with joy and called the rest of the employees to congratulate me. They all send you good wishes and hope that one day you will be encouraged to meet them.

–Do they know I'm your wife? –I wanted to ask him in a natural way, but I think my tone was accusatory because his smile faded.

–Not exactly, but they suspect that you are a student at the university. Ofelia seems to know it is you because she has seen us talking, however, she does not say anything out of respect for our relationship… I… I regret having told you about us, but I was so happy that the woman I love reciprocates my love, that I could not stop myself from shouting to the world that you were my girlfriend.

–I'm not complaining that you told your friends about us, I was just surprised that you said it so soon.

–Did you want me to hide it?... If that's what you want, tomorrow I'll tell them that I made it up.

–No… don’t do that, besides, if you accept the proposal I’m going to make you, we’re going to need them.

–What proposal? And why do we need university employees?

I stood up slowly to avoid getting dizzy and when I was close to him, I hugged him and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. Then I forced him to sit down, and I knelt between his legs.

–I know it's customary for men to ask this, but our relationship isn't exactly what people call normal. These differences are what define us as a couple and I love it that way, that's why I want to ask you to be my husband – I finished with a big smile.

–Husband? –the poor man stammered– are you asking me to marry you? –I nodded– but… –he didn’t finish speaking because he stood up so quickly that I almost fell to the ground.

–What's wrong? Don't you want to marry me? –His attitude was beginning to become intolerable, but I contained my anger because I wanted to give him the opportunity to explain himself.

Filomeno looked at me and when he noticed that he had left me on the ground, he rushed to hug me, but since I was upset, I didn't hug him back.

–Don’t get me wrong Mariana… I just… –I didn’t let him continue.

-You just what?... Now you're going to tell me that you think it's unnecessary to marry me because I give you everything for free, right?

–I would never think that of you, but I want you to answer me one thing first, do you want to get married for me or for the baby?

I was going to tell him it was because of the baby, but if I did that, he would probably reject the marriage. I know him so well that I know that answer wouldn't be enough for him to agree to protect our child with a legal marriage, so I smiled at him and before speaking again I gave him a kiss.

–I want to marry you because I love you and I want the world to recognize me as Mrs. Filomeno Cruz.

I was an excellent actress!... An Oscar was the least I deserved at this moment because his happy face showed me that he believed my words.

Despite his lack of physical agility, he quickly got up and then picked me up to spin me around, although he stopped when he noticed that it made me nauseous.

Thanks to the food they gave us, we had a celebration of our engagement. It was a shame there wasn't a ring to make it official, but that didn't stop us from being happy.

After eating and resting, my hormones were activated, and I convinced him to take the celebration to an intimate level. He did not refuse because he was also eager to take my body. We were pleasuring each other for hours, but my drowsiness prevented us from taking advantage of the early morning as we did before. So much tiredness and sleep led me to wonder if it was normal, so I decided that I would go for a medical check-up.

The next day I woke up briefly to kiss my future husband goodbye and went back to sleep until eleven in the morning.

I took a shower and put on a simple light green dress and some silver huaraches. I took a small bag and left the house.

I was going to go to the university infirmary to be checked by the doctor, but I decided to find Filomeno first so he could accompany me; I wanted him to be part of everything that had to do with my pregnancy. I smiled at the thought that he would be happy that I included him in this and with high spirits I proudly walked through the halls full of university students who looked at me with disdain, (I suppose because they already knew that my mother came to talk to the director and their conversation did not stay in that office). Surely, they were eager to make fun of me, but most of their parents had businesses with both my father and my mother and their financial coffers depended on the Rivas surname, (even the university, because it receives financing from my father's company).

In one of the hallways, I bumped into Erik, but I ignored him, and he just held back a sneer. I almost laughed at that. I was really enjoying the discomfort of all these daddy's boys. I really hate the arrogance and banality that the rich and powerful feel, that's why I swore to myself that I would never allow my children to be as frivolous, (for a moment I stopped in my tracks when I realized that I said "children" and tried to correct myself because one was all I would give Filomeno). After the commotion passed, I resumed my walk and arrived at the kitchen. At this time most of the workers gather for a snack, so it was most likely that he was around here.

Standing in front of the door, I heard several voices and Filomeno's laughter. He sounded happy, but suddenly he fell silent, and curiosity made me open a crack to see what was happening.

–Grandpa, don't you think that woman is foisting someone else's child on you? –said a young man of about twenty.

–Shut up, Orlando!... Is Filomeno not worthy of being loved?... Do you think there is no woman in the world who loves him for what he is? –answered a woman of about forty… very pretty to my dismay and it grew even more so when I saw that she put her arms around his shoulders and Filomeno did nothing to get away from her.

–I didn’t mean that… Yesterday when he told us about his wife and his son, I was very happy that he found a partner to accompany him, but I never imagined that it was Roberto Rivas’s daughter. Do you know how much money that man has?... Everyone says that even though he is no longer with the young lady’s mother, he gives them large amounts of money every month and the mother also has the second most important company in the city. There is no one who does not have some agreement with the Rivas in this school and that is why they will not say out loud what they think about an eighteen-year-old young lady going out with a man who is older than her.

–If they are so rich, then I don't understand where you see the bad thing? –said another man of about fifty years old. –Don't you think that if she is pregnant by another man, it would be less humiliating for people to know that it is from someone of her age?... If that girl is with Filomeno and told him that she is expecting a child from him, for me it is one hundred percent true.

–It's true, Orlando! –were the voices of four other employees.

For a moment, silence returned, but since I was tired of spying on them, I opened the door, and everyone turned around. As soon as they realized who it was, their faces turned pale.

I walked with the same confidence with which I faced the students in the hallways and approached Filomeno. The first thing I did was grab his hand and pulled him to me so that the woman would stop hugging him and when I had him pressed against my body, I kissed him on the mouth. It took me so long that I heard everyone emitting sounds of surprise, but when I separated from Filomeno, no one was looking at me anymore and much less wanted to talk.

–Good morning – I began –Filomeno has told me a lot about you and after three years of listening to your stories, I feel like I already know each and every one of you, although this is the first time I have seen you up close –no one responded– I came because I would like to invite you to our wedding, I don't have an appointment yet, but it's going to be in two Saturdays... Filomeno will give you all the details later, so I sincerely hope that you can join us.

–It would be an honor for us, Miss –the fifty-year-old man finally said –and as a gift, I would like to offer you the cake... I am the university's pastry chef, and it is the most I can give you –he finished, somewhat embarrassed.

–And it’s more than you think, sir…

–Luis… I have been friends with Filomeno since I entered university twenty years ago.

I thanked him for his kindness with a friendly hug. That gesture gave the others the confidence to talk to me and by the time we left the kitchen, we had godparents, a veil, a dress, slippers, food, drinks and witnesses for both of us.

We were happily heading to the infirmary. The students saw us together, although this time they did nothing to make us uncomfortable.

When we arrived, the nurse told us that the doctor had gone to check on a student who fell down the stairs, so we had to wait and while we did so we continued talking about what had happened in the kitchen.

–You'll see what beautiful memories Juliana is going to make!... she does wonders with her hands.

–Yes, I suppose you know that better than everyone –I said angrily. –And what other things does he do well? Don't tell me! He surely kisses like the angels themselves. –This was in a more furious tone, and I kept quiet because I don't make comments as hurtful as that.

–How am I supposed to know if she's a good kisser? I've never had a bad thought about Juliana... For me, she's a good friend. She's always defended me from the young people who make fun of me, for that I'm grateful.

–Well, I'm the one who's going to defend you now, so there's no need for you to hang around that woman – I used the annoyed tone again.

–Mariana are you jealous? –he asked me amused.

–Am I jealous? Of course not! –I looked at him reproachfully– Or do I have reasons, Filomeno?

–Never, my love –he said, hugging me– you have no rival in my heart. The love I feel for you is too great to cover the sun, and since you also carry my son in your womb, you make him the happiest and most blessed man in the universe.

–You're so cheesy! –I said, smiling –but I love it when you say things like that. You make me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.

–You are the most beautiful woman, not only in the world, but in the entire universe!

–See? You've done it again –I brought his face closer with my hands and pressed my lips against his – if you keep talking to me like that, I'm going to end up making love to you in this place.

I really wanted to rip his clothes off and ride him until the lust his words had aroused subsided, but I had to settle for kissing him as if my life was hanging by a thread. My mouth was devouring his with desperation and with so much passion I disconnected from the world and was only aware of his taste and his tongue that sent thousands of shocks to my vagina that at this moment was embarrassingly wet, but my reverie was abruptly broken when Filomeno pulled me away from his mouth. I wanted to reach for her again, however, someone's throat clearing made me stop.

–Good morning, Miss Rivas –said the doctor, somewhat uncomfortable –I've been told that you're coming for a medical consultation –he held out his hand to me and continued –come with me.

Ignoring his hand, I held Filomeno's hand tighter and made him stand up with me.

–Doctor Campos, I would like to introduce you to my future husband and father of my baby – I said hugging Filomeno – I would appreciate it if you would give him the treatment, he deserves for being the next member of the Rivas family.

The doctor was surprised. Apparently, he didn't know anything about my wedding with the university janitor.

–I… am very sorry for my lack of education –he stopped looking at me and turned to my fiancé –it’s a pleasure Filomeno… sorry, Mr. Cruz. Allow me to give you my sincere congratulations on your upcoming wedding with Miss Rivas and on your baby.

–Don't worry, Doctor Campos –he answered without a hint of anger– I understand better than anyone that it is unbelievable that the old janitor is the man this beautiful woman is going to marry, so don't feel bad and please don't treat me differently. I will continue being the same, even though I have the good fortune of being part of my beloved Mariana's life, and the last thing I want is to impose on anyone a respect that I haven't yet earned.

His nobility and humility produced a pang of admiration in my heart. His good feelings reaffirmed that I did the right thing by choosing him as my partner and although I hated that people did not value him, I had to accept his decision not to demand the respect he deserves.

Once the embarrassing moment was over, the three of us entered the office. I reluctantly took off my clothes to put on the gown and then went to the ultrasound room, (but not before the evidence of my previous excitement with Filomeno disappeared).

The doctor told me to get on the stretcher and I did, but without letting go of my fiancé's hand. When he asked me to open the gown, I obeyed, although I carefully covered my entire body except for part of my belly and to feel more protected, I asked Filomeno to caress it until the doctor put a cold gel on and then passed a device that sent images that were displayed on a screen. Suddenly a loud and fast sound filled the room.

–That’s the baby’s heart – said the doctor – it looks like it’s going to be a very strong boy or girl – he typed something and then pressed lightly on a spot on my belly – look… that’s your baby.

He pointed at a dark spot on the screen. For a moment I couldn't see anything, but little by little the image began to take shape. It was a small bean that could already show some limbs. Seeing my baby filled me with happiness. He was so beautiful and knowing that we had given life to a tiny seed made me feel special. When I turned to see Filomeno, my heart was moved, and abundant tears ran down his wrinkled face. I knew they were tears of happiness and I felt very proud knowing that I could make his wish to be a father come true.

I let him cry for several minutes and when my own crying subsided, I pulled his face in to kiss his lips.

–Thank you, my love… thank you so much – he said to me between hiccups.

–I love you and this baby is proof that my feelings for you are genuine, because as I told you before, only you would allow me to become a mother… only with you would I create something so beautiful.

I didn't understand the reason for telling him that, but I was so happy to see our son that I preferred to ignore my own words.

And with the image of our baby, we gave ourselves over to a never-ending kiss. Filomeno was on top of me to give me better access to his mouth. I don't know how long we stayed like that, but if it weren't for the nurse asking us to accompany her back to the office, we would have kissed until our mouths went numb.

The doctor gave us the pictures of our baby and gave me a prescription to control the dizziness and nausea. Before we left, he told Filomeno that there would be days when he would have to be very understanding, because my hormones would make me have mood swings and that I would be loving at times, but that I could almost immediately become hysterical. They both laughed, but Filomeno fell silent when he noticed my angry look. The doctor simply said, “That’s what I meant,” and with a pat on his back, he let us go.

Filomeno walked me back to our little house and after tucking me into bed, he left because he said the director asked to see him at noon. I didn't like the fact that he was meeting with that guy alone, but he promised me that nothing bad would happen and his trust gave me some peace of mind. At five he came back and told me that he had first congratulated him and then informed him that his work schedule had been modified; now he would start work at eight in the morning, his break would be at one in the afternoon and if he hurried, he could leave at four. There weren't many changes with me. My start would continue to be at ten, but my break would be moved up to coincide with Filomeno's and my finish would be at three in the afternoon. While he was telling me about it, I was already evaluating my new obligations in my head; I could no longer leave him to clean the little house and prepare the food. Being his wife, that was my duty.

–I don't want you to make any effort at all, that's why I rejected the change of my break and the one at twelve was set. At that time, I will clean the house and leave your lunch and dinner ready.

That took me by surprise, but as soon as I recovered, I sat up in bed and had him sit next to me.

–Do you think I'm a glass doll? –I asked, hurt and annoyed by his behavior.

–Never, my love – he answered and then placed his huge hand on my belly – but you are carrying my beloved baby and I don't want anything to disturb you. I prefer that you rest as much as you can during the months until our son arrives, remember that after that you won't even be able to sleep because babies cry all day – he finished with a smile.

–Why do you always manage to defeat all my objections? –I pulled him towards me and gave him a quick kiss. –Okay, you can clean the house, but you'll leave the cooking to me, okay? Unless of course you hate the way, I cook.

–You cook deliciously –he said, hugging me, and I took the opportunity to crush my breasts against his chest and began to move them on him. –What are these kitten movements? –He laughed, showing his teeth in all their splendor.

–My nipples are a little itchy, do you think you can do something to relieve them? –I said as I unbuttoned his shirt.

–If the itching is in your nipples, why do you need to take off my shirt? –he asked in an excited voice.

–Well, because while you take care of that matter, my fingers will entertain themselves by tangling in the hairs of your chest and if you behave, maybe I will reward you with a few kisses to little Filomeno – I said seductively and reaffirmed my offer by pressing his already hard penis with my hand.

–You know very well that it is not small and if you continue to excite it you will make it so hard and fat that not even your mouth will be able to shelter it.

–But my vagina can –I pulled him, and his member collided with my pubis– a while ago you left her very wet and sore, so you have to compensate her.

–That being the case –he lifted my skirt and removed my panties– would it be okay with my wife if I started apologizing to her vagina? –his husky voice and intense body heat made me let out a loud moan–I guess that's permission.

After that we didn't talk anymore. We immersed ourselves in a sea of wild passion so intense that we forgot about time. His work was delayed for at least an hour, and I was grateful that the weight of the Rivas name was so great that it saved us not only that time, but several more times.